Today is Qixi, and I have no one to spend it with. In the evening, I went back to a Taiwanese braised pork rice place I had tried when I first arrived in Shenzhen and ate until I was full. After that, I wandered over to a nearby Nitori and bought some chopsticks and a cutting board. While walking down the street, I suddenly drifted into a daze and realized that I really was on my own. A wave of loneliness came over me, along with the urge to go home.
Back in my rented room—I keep calling it that—it still felt very empty, so I talked with GPT for a while. After we dug into it, it gave me a conclusion: I want too many things, and the things I want are too big, so I am always afraid that I am not taking the fastest or the most correct path.
I have set myself a very specific goal: earn ten million yuan by the time I am thirty. But that goal has also made me extremely sensitive to time. I do not want to let myself sit idle. Besides completing the tasks assigned to me at work, I am also trying to build this combination:
Professional skills + a personal brand + a second income stream + long-term assets
AI wrote that line, but the problem is pretty clear: the goal is too big, it contains too many things, and it is still too far away. So I get anxious, but I do not know where to start. Then I scroll through success stories on Douyin, become even more anxious, and repeat the cycle.
That dazed moment in the mall was probably also a moment of self-doubt. It made me realize that beneath the relaxed surface I show people—my Moments feed is basically all food—there is uncertainty, pressure, anxiety, and fear about the future.
Then came AI's advice: separate everything by priority. The most urgent things are working on my résumé and applying for jobs. The next level is my work project. The third level is my own projects; they do not need to be delivered in a rush and can be maintained gradually. The long-term priority is building different social-media channels, because that takes sustained effort and needs time to compound.
Finally, I asked GPT to create a profile of me: “A young AI practitioner who is highly goal-driven and strongly action-oriented, who thinks long term but feels anxious about short-term results.”